To My Daughter On Her Wedding Day, V

An Open Letter

My Dear Daughter,

A Child Was Born
You entered the world at a time that attended great change in our family. Shortly after you joined our family, our second mother did, too. I didn’t know how blessed I would be at the time, I only hoped for it, yearned for it, and prayed for it with all my heart! I was consumed by taking life in any measure I could negotiate at the time. Life took me for a ride into the deep. I loved our precious family; every child was a gift that God had placed with me in holy trust; I viewed each one of you as a treasure. I didn’t know how any of the dynamics of this burgeoning family would resolve, but I believed that everything would work out in the end; I still naïvely do. I was struggling with so much uncertainty at the time, what to name you being one of many things. I waited longer to name you than I did with any child previously. I remember Lisa joining me one night while I was milking cows, when I exclaimed, “I’ve got it, it’s ‘Natalie!’ Her name is ‘Natalie.’” She exclaimed, “That’s great,” and I exclaimed in my heart, “You’re great!.”

I cherish the memories of stacking shapes with you. I’ve always known that you were a clever girl. I hope I never lose that snapshot of you building empires on the floor.

Baseball: America’s Favorite… “Metaphor”
It was a beautiful summer’s day. You were playing shortstop in the co-ed championships; I was a proud papa. I knew you would do something great; I just had no idea how great, but I confess that I was secretly hoping that your team would lose early so that I could go home. There were runners on 1st and 2nd. An unsuspecting fool hit into the infield. You snagged the ball, tagged the runner to third, forced the runner out on 2nd, and threw to 1st for a successful out. It was one transcendent, fluid motion. I don’t think I could have been happier if it were an MLB game. So, when I say to you, “You know, it’s not about winning every play, it’s about winning the game, ‘er, you know, the sports analogy that I need,” you really know what I mean. We could go on: “That’s way off in left field,” (what is this crazy person thinking?); “Not even in the ballpark,” (that point was so far off, I can’t even consider it); “We went to [1st, 2nd, 3rd] base,” (you better not know about any of these); “Oh, you wanna play hardball?!,” (oh, you wanna see what I’m capable of?). I firmly believe there is no better sport to assist in understanding American culture. You understand it well and it’s glorious. Let’s watch a game sometime, have a hotdog and a beer, and talk more.

I admire the effort you put into lessons and implements to improve your skill in the sport. It was well placed, I assure you. You can carry with you into life the things you learned in sport.

I’m 18 and I’m Out
I don’t think you can possibly understand how I suffered when you left home. I’ve always advocated my children adventuring into life. I just assumed that it would be in tears with a touch of trepidation and a wide-eyed hope of things to come. Instead, it was I who was the one crying in trepidation and hoping for things to come. How could this be? I know I’ve made many mistakes, but I hope you can forgive me. I’ve never wished for anything but your best life. I assure you that I will always be watching over you. Heaven help the poor fool that hits into the infield. Hey world! You’ve been warned.

Rock ‘n’ Roll
After our bizarre estrangement, it seems we found common ground in music – or something. I can’t claim any credit for this. I don’t know what finally brought you back into my life, but I will forever be grateful for it. I will even try to evaluate my own (pre)judices. There are some things I believe in – beyond all controversy or any debate: Love, …. It turns out that there are some things that epitomize that for me: God, mothers, and maybe how I feel about inquiry, science, the universe, etc. Oh, and Rock ‘n’ Roll. R‘n’R must never die. I believe that it is the responsibility of our generation to preserve the virtue we have in it. I swear to God, that I will never abandon him, nor Rock ‘n’ Roll, nor you, nor your mother, nor the floor where you stacked blocks on. Over that same carpet, I’ve oft’ played the Killers, when, upon occasion, it happened upon a midnight deep and snowy that I heard “Natalie.” I thought, “Oh, it’s so simple, isn’t it? It’s actually that simple! Why do we complicate it?” So I say to you, “Believe me Natalie, believe me Natalie, Forget what they say! Questions are more important than answers anyway!”

When you gathered up your sisters at that Royal Bliss concert, that was pretty freaking cool. Remember: “Your dreams always come true!”

To the Future
Never settle for castles of sand; I’ve watched you build towers of more sturdy stuff such as wood and stone and dreams. There is only one man who loves you more than I, and he will be about until the end of time, to watch over you in all things, the king of the universe. I wish you the greatest happiness with your chosen man, but let us not forget that God made us and all of this. Your husband is a good man. I pray with all my heart that he will lead you into all of the paths that only a soulmate can. I wish you bliss to the marrow of your bones, satisfaction to the tips of your toes, and wonder to the crown of your head. Do not suppose that any treasure will come without great tribulation. The field of gold is only purchased by every thing. I love you forever and I will always watch over you.

Your dad,
Ariel Hammon.