As modern life demands that we grow more specialized in our careers, the temptation to outsource our personal responsibilities may be tempting, but we risk selling ourselves in the process. Selling to whom? To those who take the responsibility, even if by fraud or deceit. Most likely the exchange will leave us feeling cheated because taking responsibility for oneself is hard enough, let alone caring for the masses. Besides, what would life be without the thousand minor and sometimes major challenges that stimulate us to grow into greater capacities and understanding? If we shelter ourselves from those challenges by retreating into the ever diminishing realm of our specialized expertise, we will diminish ourselves as humans. We will find ourselves complaining about society and government for their failures to adequately care for us. We will become victims by our own volition.
Sound Familiar?
This self imposed victimhood basically describes a large portion of our society. It seems that the demands for social, political, and economic accommodation are endless and increasingly radical. This is offensive to me because it unfairly appropriates the suffering of authentic victims, people who were actually hurt or abused by evil intending aggressors. (See how I used a liberal buzzword there? Yeah, I can do it, too.) I am not offended in the sense that I want others to pander to my point of view. I am offended because it is a dangerous lie intended to curtail the freedom of others. Let me be perfectly clear. Taking personal responsibility does not mean not seeking help. Often the challenges which we face as individuals are larger than our capacities. When overwhelmed, seeking help is the responsible thing to do. Far from suggesting that we must do everything ourselves, I would like to present three areas where I think we need to do much more to help ourselves.
1. Get Your Hands Dirty, I Mean Really Dirty
Of course I’m referring to growing a garden. I agree that we need clear and informative labeling on food that we purchase, but this is a woefully inadequate solution. What better way to know what is in your food than to grow it yourself? Share with neighbors. I consider the produce harvested from my garden to be of supreme value, but sometimes it’s more than we can use. Therefore, I am always looking for others who value it likewise so that it doesn’t go to waste. I suggest forming a community facebook group; let your neighbors know what you have. Support local farmers’ markets. If you live in an urban area where growing a garden is not an option, join an agricultural cooperative. These are farms operated by owner-volunteers who take produce and/or meat as dividends for labor and purchases of shares of stock, etc. Hell, if that’s not your thing, grow tomato plants in your window sills. No excuses. I mean it.
2. No One Can Take A Shit For You
Have you ever been so comfortable in bed that you wish someone could be your proxy in the bathroom so that you wouldn’t have to get up? No? Just me? Well, the point is that some things have to be done by you and by you alone. Learning is one of those things. No one can read a book for you, no one can learn a skill for you, and no one can get an education for you. You’ve got to do the dirty work yourself. Learning about our world, our natures, and our environment is something that we must take personal responsibility for. For instance, why stage a coup or a mutiny if telling others how to vote accomplishes the desired ends. It’s cheaper and cleaner that way. Despots thrive on telling others what to think. To be free, we desperately need an educated electorate, so learn, learn deeply, and vote!
3. Raising Hell
Have kids they said. It’ll be fun they said. Well, regardless of whether or not we thought it would be fun, when we chose to have sex, we chose the consequences also. If a child was one of those consequences, then care for it! Unless you grew up with hands covering your ears and eyes, where talking/reading/viewing anything sexual was tantamount to dancing with the devil, you learned that children come from intercourse. As a society, we have built schools, hospitals, parks, and numerous other institutions to assist us with raising our children, because let’s face it, we need help! But they are YOUR kids, YOUR responsibility, not the state’s, not the teacher’s, and not the nurse’s, etc. For a hilarious (and profane) description of the nuisance of poor parenting see Other People’s Kids by Tracie Egan Morrissey. The responsibility of nurturing your children rests squarely upon your shoulders. At some point, being a decent human becomes their own responsibility, but, PARENTS, at least carry them in that direction and stop blaming your assistants along the way for your failures to lead.
Your Life, Your Happiness
Taking personal responsibility means not demanding that other people do the things that you personally need to thrive. It does not mean doing everything on your own. However, if something significantly impacts your well being either physically, spiritually, mentally, or emotionally, it serves you to get intimately involved. Be the captain and the oarsmen of your own ship.
Ariel Hammon
Author of JACK
Image of chess pieces taken from here.