Honestly, one of the most enjoyable things that I can do in this world is to engage in a good argument. Having sex and eating are pretty much the only activities that compare. If you can combine all three then what you’ve got is a relationship founded on solid rock. Good argument is a sign of intelligence, which is the sexiest thing on earth. Nobody wants to argue all of the time, but the occasional argument is like sex that’s just a little rough, it’s a good release for the mind, an exquisite mind f**k.
Engaging in argument is the most effective way to change your own mind. Who cares if you change the other guy’s mind or not? Agreeing with someone is not particularly beneficial. It’s nice to have a brain break sometimes, so enjoy it. Just don’t get stuck there. Agreement cements viewpoints and reinforces paradigms. What’s wrong with that? Well, one thing that history has taught us is that our paradigms are wrong. Yes, right now, today, our paradigms are wrong. A long line of experience with teachers like Jesus, Copernicus, Galileo, Newton, and Einstein has taught us that what we currently believe is wrong. Of those listed, the first was killed and the third was severely tortured because those in power couldn’t tolerate an argument, and there are many other examples. Rational argument is expansive. By defending his position against detractors, Einstein made ever greater discoveries and improved his own mind.
Not tolerating argument is a sign of weakness. It demonstrates an insecurity, perhaps even corruption. Experience teaches us that corruption often resides with power. Voltaire famously declared, “To learn who rules over you, simply find out who you are not allowed to criticise,” or in other words, who will not tolerate an argument. Another possible reason that someone might not tolerate argument is an over-indulgence in emotion. Let’s face it, unless you’re Vulcan or a sociopath, we are all emotional creatures. However, the human species is homo sapien, meaning “man the wise.” Therefore, we have the hardware to engage in an intellectual conversation and we ought to use it. To be truly human, we must develop it.
Now suppose that you do care about convincing the other guy. That’s persuasion. Persuade with facts and good reason. I realize that some people like being told what to think. I do not! I’m going to assume that the person you’re trying to convince cares to think for him-or-herself. To such types, a person who cannot defend his-or-her position with a good argument looks like a fool. I have been a fool before. Guess my favorite tool for overcoming foolishness. That’s right. Argument. The worst kind of fool is the one in power over others who demands a certain belief, attitude, or action without building a rational basis for it.
Don’t be a fool. Pop a bottle of wine. Get into a good argument with a friend. Take it to the kitchen and turn it into something delicious. If you’re friends with benefits, then you know, you could eat it off of each other. A friendship that can’t withstand a full-on shouting match is a friendship you’re better off without, maybe. But what do I know? If you disagree, I’d love to argue with you in the comments.
Photo credit to Chiltepinster (here)
If only you could make a proper Manhattan….
Hahaha. The only shortcoming is the cherry. I think you were assigned to that!
Hahaha…. I’ll take one of his.. Proper or improper.. 😉
BTW Ariel, Enjoyed your article, and I agree with you. I know there’s lots of people who don’t. “Seduce” my mind, has been my mantra for quite some time. If someone can’t do that everything else is kinda anticlimactic. hahaha.. But, it all starts there..in the mind. Good sex, stimulating arguments, delicious food..even choosing the appropriate bottle to go with all of it. It’s part of the romance of living and keeping life “fresh”.
…. I realized years ago that if what I think and believe cannot stand up to scrutiny..ie argument… examination and reason, I better take a hard look at what I believe. And if my ego is so prevalent that it can’t handle the challenge, I’m a prude.
There’s this thing called “diamond truth”. Well, it’s rare to find because we see and understand through our five senses which can be so easily manipulated and influenced. But that’s for a different conversation. All in all, I love a good argument too. Call it my genetic predisposition, non-conformist bent, the wild streak in me, natural curiosity..whatever. It’s part of the spice of a relationship. And relationships are what life is all about.
And that’s my 2 cents. 🙂
I couldn’t agree more. I want to find something to argue with you about, but alas, you won me with a “choosing the appropriate bottle to go with all of it.” Hahaha. One thing that I can argue with you about is the price. I think it’s worth more than 2 cents.
hahaha….. let’s argue ’bout that…
Motorcycle Drive By > God of Wine
Hahaha. And you’re still not thinking of her. I get it.
Dude! Bro, I love this, and love that you have the courage to write and share it! You’ve articulated many of my thoughts on this and given me more to consider. Thank you, really.
Thanks! I’m curious what you think of the “According to Plan” piece. I hope you’ll let me know.
Argument definitely is a tool for growth, for without it we are self indulgent little …… full of narcissistic intentions. But, and we all know I have big buts, Contention is a very, very close cousin to Argument because Offense is its parent and has taught its offspring how to cling and manipulate, throwing power into the court. So, as a result of me being “old” I don’t need the stimulation of Argument to get me “going” I’ve been looking at all the sides for so long that my philosophy of life has come from me and I am pretty secure in it. I would far rather marvel at the process for others and enjoy the outcome. Now as to sex……. don’t bother with the argument… there are funner ways to spend the time 😉
I can only draw conclusions from my own life, including the length of it. Therefore, I may not be as wise as you, but every great scientific stride has had to make it’s way through a great deal of argument, contention, and offense. If we’re going to shut those things down because a certain passage in scripture says that it’s bad, then also shut down all of the conveniences of technology which you enjoy daily that resulted from them. We can’t have the fruit of contention in our lives! hahaha.
It’s probably contention that got me to where I am 🙂
Not sure how you crossed rational arguement with a full on shouting match, unless thats how you counter those afraid of over indulging emotion by pushing them well out of their comfort zone, wait that feels more like perusasion.
What were arguing again?
LOL. Not saying that yelling and rational argument are the same thing. I’m just saying, don’t be afraid of it. If you can’t handle someone vigorously pushing a point, it’s a sign of weakness.